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Feelings... nothing more than feelings...
Jul. 8th, 2002 02:54 pmI am starting to get the impression that there are very few people in this world who actually care about eachother. I know that I try to put off this selfish persona... but the real truth of the matter is that I worry about people that I care about and try to do my best not to hurt them. I feel things deeply... even if they are other people's emotions....
So a friend of mine was crushed by his now ex-sig-other. Dammit. I can't stand it when this happens. This is honestly why I wish my friends wouldn't date. It is really hard for me to see them go through this and know that there is nothing that I can do but be a good friend. And what do I do when they want relationship advice and I see the writing on the wall? Well I have learned to keep my mouth shut. The last friend I had who was being emotionally tortured by her man, I told her to leave him. Now they are back together and I am the bitch. Well she doesn't see it that way but he certainly does. I am so continually frustrated by the way that I see people treat eachother.
I don't think that people should stay in relationships that are not working. But dammit its amazing what a little honesty and openness can do to help prevent amazingly painful and relationship ending situations. God just talk to eachother people. And try to be honest for once. Don't sit there and stew and cook up scenarios in your head. Don't let things fester... trust me I know from experience. And when something is wrong don't hide from it. Look I hide from situations with my advisor but you know what... I don't consider him the most important person in my life. If I had a sig other I would do everything I could to try to make things work... even if it meant difficult conversations.
I hate to rant on this topic but I have seen many of my friends go through this recently. And it is really hard to sit back and watch and just be supportive. I really want to shake them sometimes and demand that they start liking themselves. But I know from experience that this only alienates them. I know because I have been on the other side.
See I have been the totally dependant and desperate to be loved one. I have betrayed myself for love before. I learned from it. Maybe I am not doing that great... after all I have been single for four years now... on the other hand I like myself and I think if I find someone that I want to give it a go with that I might be strong enough now. How do I manage to have so many brilliant, talented, attractive friends that dislike themselves so much? And how do I help them see in themselves what I see in them? I don't know. All I can do is tell them that I care and that I think they are brilliant etc... even though I know that they don't believe it. I wouldn't have back then... and I still have a hard time believing things like that. A hot meal, some hugs and a back rub are about all I have to offer. And someone who will listen. I hope thats enough in the end. Just please understand why I might not want to meet and like the love of your life.... because when they break your heart its easier for me not to know them.
So a friend of mine was crushed by his now ex-sig-other. Dammit. I can't stand it when this happens. This is honestly why I wish my friends wouldn't date. It is really hard for me to see them go through this and know that there is nothing that I can do but be a good friend. And what do I do when they want relationship advice and I see the writing on the wall? Well I have learned to keep my mouth shut. The last friend I had who was being emotionally tortured by her man, I told her to leave him. Now they are back together and I am the bitch. Well she doesn't see it that way but he certainly does. I am so continually frustrated by the way that I see people treat eachother.
I don't think that people should stay in relationships that are not working. But dammit its amazing what a little honesty and openness can do to help prevent amazingly painful and relationship ending situations. God just talk to eachother people. And try to be honest for once. Don't sit there and stew and cook up scenarios in your head. Don't let things fester... trust me I know from experience. And when something is wrong don't hide from it. Look I hide from situations with my advisor but you know what... I don't consider him the most important person in my life. If I had a sig other I would do everything I could to try to make things work... even if it meant difficult conversations.
I hate to rant on this topic but I have seen many of my friends go through this recently. And it is really hard to sit back and watch and just be supportive. I really want to shake them sometimes and demand that they start liking themselves. But I know from experience that this only alienates them. I know because I have been on the other side.
See I have been the totally dependant and desperate to be loved one. I have betrayed myself for love before. I learned from it. Maybe I am not doing that great... after all I have been single for four years now... on the other hand I like myself and I think if I find someone that I want to give it a go with that I might be strong enough now. How do I manage to have so many brilliant, talented, attractive friends that dislike themselves so much? And how do I help them see in themselves what I see in them? I don't know. All I can do is tell them that I care and that I think they are brilliant etc... even though I know that they don't believe it. I wouldn't have back then... and I still have a hard time believing things like that. A hot meal, some hugs and a back rub are about all I have to offer. And someone who will listen. I hope thats enough in the end. Just please understand why I might not want to meet and like the love of your life.... because when they break your heart its easier for me not to know them.
