Yum

My heros of the week are my officemates. Inspired by my generosity in bringing them chocolate on Monday... I couldn't resist, the new guy brought us toblerone bars yesterday. And today there was a tupperware full of fresh pineapple sitting on my desk from my really super together office mate who I always envy for remembering to bring fresh fruit. People can sometimes be so cold and unkind in this world that it is always so heartwarming when someone does something nice. What they did was no big deal and probably only occupied them for a few minutes... but it meant that they were thinking about me and that means a lot.

Physical therapy was not as brutal today. I don't know if that means they are going easier on me or if it means that I am doing better.

When I got there I felt like ass. I was so exhausted I could hardly function but after my warmup I was ok.

Got some people coming over tonight for a little shindig so I must go home early and clean up the mess in my bedroom. Ick. Wish I had some company while I do that. Things in my life are slowly coming together. If I could just hear from the people at Woods Hole I would be much happier.

Dumb Quizzes

Ok I just took the what is your native american totem quiz. What a piece of shit. This thing only has 6 different results. And it bases them on things like the astrological sign of the quiz taker. Aren't you mixing mythologies a bit there?

Not only that but then my "result" has a foreground that is unreadable on its background.

From this we can learn something... pretty graphic designs are no good if they cannot communicate anything... that is if they cannot be read.

On the subject of totems... one of my dear friends found her shadow totem. This is a totem that represents the underrepresented so-called "dark side" of your personality. It is something that frightens her. You can intergrate the lessons from your shadow totem into your life and from there create a more cohesive whole to your personality. It is an opportunity for growth. Her shadow totem is spider, which is my main totem. I thought it was interesting that she was suppressing that side of herself. I see my totem alive inside me in so many ways in my life. The hard part is that I am not always willing to spin the web. I am nervous about connecting myself too strongly with others. I am afraid my silk is too weak.

Stuff

I am very pensive today.

I haven't written any poetry in ages. Its painful. I haven't made any jewelery either. I try to write because the urge comes and I can't I feel empty.

I hate this. Why can't I be back at the top of my game when the poems came to fast to write down.

Even making beaded jewelery by candle light was nice.

I wonder if it could be the relationship. Has anyone else ever felt this? Could it be that the energy I spend with my babe is the stuff I used to use to be creative?

Where did I go? I feel at times like I need more time to myself and when I have it I watch fucking movies for crying out loud.