The journey is the destination.

Hello sage of wisdom and mirth.

Yes Geology rocks and the Fifth Element rules....

Starship troopers? Hmmm.... not certain.

Next time you comment pen your name or a handle I know you by at the end.

Else I may have to turn off anonymous commenting.

I have been talking to a lot of people in the past week who have made me feel like I was being attacked on the basis of my taste in many things including movies, books etc.

I have been told things like "I would rather work than watch tv.... I only watch good tv like the Simpsons and Invader Zim." I have been listening to so many people tell me that my and my friends hobbies are stupid, or that we should be spending our time differently.

Well I say fuck you to that.

I recognize that I have a tendency to be outspoken about films I don't think are good or have gotten too much hype. I have also gotten on an unsturdy soapbox to talk about misogynist lyrics in Eminem's music. So let me state that I apologize if I have made anyone feel the way I have been made to feel this weekend. If you like Eminem you have every right too, I just don't want to buy his music, and there are certain songs I would rather have people not play around me. Etc, etc.

But I am outraged at the fact that when I leave a theater having enjoyed something I immediately get to hear criticisms of the singing, or the dancing or the treatment of the plot. When I told people this weekend that I like the Fifth Element I was informed that it is a horrible movie, with no plot, and no good discernable qualities. Ok, have that opinion if you want, but they laughed at me for liking it and that hurt. And maybe that's how other people feel when I talk about the fact that while I like the Matrix, I don't think its a "good" movie. I hope not, and if so I will quit it.

I am just getting sick of this. I am getting sick of people being on their high horse about people watching tv. People have a right to unwind and if they enjoy tv more power to them. I enjoy it. I like popular shows like, gasp, friends, sex in the city, will and grace, dharma and greg, everybody loves raymond, etc. I don't have an antenna on my tv so we don't get stations in the apt but I like watching shows when I am at my bf's place. I also love law and order and the discovery channel. So fucking what.

There is a certain snobishness that often is attached to the statement "I don't watch tv." Not everyone feels that their personal decision should serve as an example to others, and I am sure most of my friends do not mean it as a criticism of me... but I hate it when people expound on how worthless it is. I see... so playing video games is a better use of time?

And then someone decided to criticize my SO for spending his time painting miniatures instead of coming out with me, someone who had never met my SO, and just decided to criticize him. I knew that my SO (ok whatever its time to call him Aaron I mention him too often not to) wouldn't have time for me this week and I was fine with it. One week out of the year devoted to miniatures painting? I think I can handle that. So its not like I was complaining about Aaron and he chimed in. He just decided that a way to initiate small talk was by criticizing Aaron. Now it could be that the moment the words left his mouth he was mortified and didn't know what to do about it. But it really upset me and it was all I could do not to tell him off which would have certainly ruined the evening for everyone. Then he started talking about the fact that at least miniatures painting was better than tv, and that annoyed me too.

I don't know why so much of this happened in one weekend, and I don't know how to feel or what to do about it, but I am starting to get the impression that most of my friends think that I am an uncultured idiot for liking television and pop music.

Well they can think that if they want.

So here is an apology if I ever made you feel attacked based on your opinions on music, movies, or television. I am certainly going to be more careful about discussing any kind of media with people, make sure that I don't shoot them down, and that if we talk about something I have a strong opinion of that I am not dismissive of what they have to say.

So I am now my chapter's Prestige Bitch... what I mean is that I am the bitch you have to go through to get the prestige.

I am trying to figure out what is reasonable, what is fair. I would also really like to automate the system for reporting prestfue for the sake of me and the chapter members. To this end I am preparing to write a prestige data base although if I can alter the one I found online I will be happy as well.

Sometimes... actually most of the time I feel like our chapter needs a kick in the ass. I feel like its time for new standards and new strategies.

But what the fuck do I know. If I had to run the chapter everyone would probably vote me out really quickly. Our current Coordinator does a good job of being diplomatic I think and I don't know if that is my strong suit. I am not sure where the balance point is for us... if we were harder on members would things improve or get worse?

I just think that sometimes when the rules are stricter you have people behaing better because what is appropriate is better defined.

Got lots to update the world on but if you are not interested then don't click the links.

( Laptop news )

( My spiky hat )

( Hypothesis testing and why it rocks... or Wow sometimes seminar talks on statistics can be interesting... or Why I am still convinced I want to be a scientist )

( The Vagina Monologues )

( Lenten Resolution )

I have been avoiding working on a project because it has looked really scary to me. See I am trying to write what is called a Mex file to make it so I can call a fortran function like I would a Matlab one. Only problem is that the fortran function in question is fairly complicated so the "gateway" function could end up being very complicated. I keep hyperventilating because this is freaking me out. OK I know I need to calm down, but I am not quite sure how to relax. I am about to try again, one variable at a time. Yikes. I hate it when I am so spooked by work.

Edit: 3:03 pm
Ok I have decided I am not going to reinvent the wheel. I am going to do the exercise in Fortran because it is easier that way. I am going to write baby functions in Matlab until I am ready to handle a task this big.

So for those of you who have not gotten these forwards yet I am including them as lj-cuts. I find them hilarious.

( How to survive Vampire Hunters: 52 Survival Tactics for the Undead. )

( The Geology Creed )

I am sure later I will have some soul-searching things to say, until then adieu.

Waiting for 45 min on an open platform for a train is not fun in any weather. Especially not in cold.

I wish I had stayed home.

I had a wonderful weekend full of those tender moments you don't really think people have in "real" life. I know we were not apart long but it felt like we had been for ages. And it was very nice to have a three day weekend to spend with him.. I also went to an opera with friends on Sunday but most of the time we were together.

Last night I watched the pilot and first two episodes of Babylon 5. I enjoyed them (I think these may have been the ones I saw when I was a freshman) and am eagerly awaiting when I get to watch more although that is not going to happen until like next monday.

Sigh why is he going to be out of town on a weekend when it seems nothing is going on?

Something just really seemed to work well. I even slept well 3/4 nights we were together and only abandoned him ans slept in the living room once. That is really good for me.

I bought new winter/hiking boots yesterday. They have a satisfaction guarantee so I waxed them last night and am wearing them today. My last pair of boots lasted me 6 years before I decided to retire them, and now they feel like sox with soles compared to these. These boots are tougher and give me much more support I think. They also go up higher on the ankle. They should be good for working on the boat and hiking since they have vibram soles.

My SO of course _had_ to point out the USGS benchmark mugs so I _had_ to buy them. Sigh.

A good weekend.

I will be going to WHOI tomorrow but have no laptop so will have to get creative to find something to do Wed night.

I have been feeling a lot better lately. Cramps and associated miseries nonwithstanding I have felt more alive these past few weeks than I have in a while. I think its because I am being more active about the things that have been worrying such as my finances etc. I have also had the time and energy to do some creative stuff. I am very excited to see my sig other again tomorrow but relieved that this time apart has not been excruciatingly painful. I feel like a shroud of misery and pain has been lifted from me. I like where I am at with life. I like my work and the people I work with. I like where my relationship is and where I imagine it is headed, and I like the fact that I have had some time to relax and be a part of my friends' lives again. Here I am hopeful and happy off to get on the bus.

So I bought a book called Hot Sex: How to do it. I am totally engrossed. I have a monstrous headache but am going to continue to read anyway. I am having no problems with my sex life actually, but I think it never hurts to get more info. I have a tendency to read up on my hobbies and I consider sex one of them. Its interesting so far. Unfortunately the one section where I wanted new tips there weren't any I hadn't tried. So either I'm that good or this book doesn't have that great of advice. Well we shall see. Ok back to reading.

Here is a disclaimer from me: I have copied the questions here, however I will change grammar and spelling as I see fit.

What's the reason behind asking for any question?

I think its interesting to see what kind of things people want to ask me. I ask lots of questions of people because I am used to interviewing. I also like to hear people's life stories and their view points on things. Even though it may seem like I like to talk more than anything else I also love to hear people talk about themselves. It seems to me that people don't ask me very many questions. I have seen many people put this poll on their lj's and thought it might be provocative to invite people to quiz me.

Do you like having big boobs? (really deep, huh)

Yes and no. I would be lying if I said I didn't like the fact that my boobs make me feel sexy and sometimes I enjoy the comments I get, or looks I get based on them. However, too much makes me feel like all I am is a frame for my boobs. I don't like it if people overdo discussion of them. I also hate having to deal with them when working out, and when trying on some clothes. Most sports bras suck and its expensive to get good ones. I worry about them sagging so for me support is a big issue. I am going to start strengthening my pecs to try to avoid that problem. I also hate the fact that many cute things are made for women with small boobs. I used to hate having such big ones and used to hide them in over sized shirts. This did not work and made me look fat instead, but it was a defense technique I adopted after being sexually harassed by some guys that creeped me out in high school. Then after awhile I started liking my body better. Now I feel that people will notice my boobs, its kind of unavoidable so I wear what ever I like.

What's the nastiest thing you've ever done?

I think the nastiest thing I ever did was not invite a friend to my graduation party (ha ha I know that is not the kind of answer you wanted... learn to ask more specific questions... aren't you pissed you wasted yours on that?) She had been my best friend in high school but during college she was never there for me. She was also the kind of person who always made sure she got all the attention at parties. I really didn't want her there... it still makes me feel guilty but I decided I didn't want to invite her.