(no subject)

Morning

I am I up at 10:19? I don't know. I want bed again but I am worried about my friends. Two of them had a fight last night. Ok the truth is that this is not a huge tragedy. I know with my heart and my head that they will heal this probably very quickly. But its hard to feel the hurt coming off them and not being able to do much.

Old time habits die hard. Someone ate my stale three month old bread last night with olive oil because a) he was hungry b) he didn't want to let the bread go to waste c) he wanted to make a spectacle of himself d) because I hadn't offered him anything to eat yet and am therefore bad hostess.

I don't know what the real reason is, but I have a hard time coping with the fact that he doesn't have enough money to eat three meals a day. I wish he would come and stay here until he gets a job so that I can keep an eye on him and make sure that he eats. Alright I know I can't save the world. I try to convince myself that I am not a bad person for owning nice things and not joining the peace core.... but I would like to be able to make sure that at least my friends are ok.

So the only thing I know how to do is feed them, try to listen to them and if appropriate offer advice and money. I wish I were better equipped to deal with these things. Sigh maybe its time to go back and see my shrink.

I am hoping to get lots of work done because I realized just how soon my thesis is supposed to be finished. I hope game tonight will be fun too.

I think i am going to curl back up with my book and read.