arachne8x: (Default)
[personal profile] arachne8x
So I am bored. Waiting for this stuff to finish running on my computer so I can go home. Sigh. Probably will get shit for going hoem early but whatever.

Truth be told I am sick of my advisor telling me that a grad student can't have a real life. Can't go to the movies, or have fun with friends etc. I know plenty of people in relationships who manage to have the time to spend together. I know plenty of people that have hobbies. I am not a typical grad student. I have outside interests... and I also do better in school when I have more to do than just school. I like to think about my research while doing other things. Discuss it with friends and the like. Am I freaked out about having to get all this done by the 8th? Yes. But until all the data is done I can't begin to draw conclusions. I obviously need to be doing some different reading. Well I have ten days when I get back. And I really can't handle this stuff anymore. I will work some while at home but I need to get away from this place.

So I intend to have a life... or find a new place to study. Guess what, grad students are people too.

I am really scared shitless that I won't get done. But to be honest 10 days should be enough. If I can get everything else done by then ten days should be fine. I only have to write like 10 or 12 pages so I should be ok.

I need to have a last minute panic attack before I leave so that I can destress while I am gone.

Breathe in, breathe out. As kwa ja nim says... the secret to life is breathing. I will get this done because I have no choice. No more excuses. No problem.

water trickles here
washes down the craggy stones
rushing by the creek drowns
its song
but still it carves a channel
down the rocks
past the grass
and the sun sparkling through it
blinds me for a minute

can I drink in this place
hold it deep within
find a way to tap back into here
when I feel lost

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arachne8x

September 2012

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