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arachne8xI am sick and tired of people saying "Why don't we have more social events." I will tell you why. Because you don't fucking try to plan any. I have plenty of social time with my friends. How does it happen? Does a magical fairy social coordinating godmother drop down from the sky, wave her wand, and turn pumpkins into people for me to hang out with? No. I call them up and invite them to do things. And sometimes they say yes.
Why is this so hard to understand? I have been trying to explain it to my mother for years. She always waits for others to initiate things.
Does it always work? No. Sometimes people have other things to do that day. So you find another time to hang out. You find another more popular activity. You cope.
People sometimes ask me how I get so many friends. Its easy. I talk to people. Even strangers. I meet people everywhere I go, in classes, in elevators, on the T. Not all of them become my friends, but I am nice to them anyway. Hell my roomie is a girl who worked the front desk at my building. I talked to her when she was bored. Now she games with me and sleeps next door.
I realize some people are shy. I have known people so shy that they actually took social anxiety medicine, and I therefore realize that this will not work for everyone. But try, try to at least approach the people you are already friends with. Sometimes you have to do something scary to make a positive change in your life. I had to risk a lot to get a new advisor. I had to deal with a lot of shit from my current one when I told him I was scouting around for a new one. I also had to risk rejection by the new program. But I was miserable enough to take those risks. If you are truly miserable then risk getting rejected. Rejected by someone you want as a friend, or even as a love interest. Trust me, I have failed plenty times. I have been rejected. It hurts a lot. But you can withstand it. You can get over it. And as some of my guy friends have discovered, it doesn't hurt as much the next time around, and if you try often enough it might just work out one of these days.
Shit or get off the pot.
Why is this so hard to understand? I have been trying to explain it to my mother for years. She always waits for others to initiate things.
Does it always work? No. Sometimes people have other things to do that day. So you find another time to hang out. You find another more popular activity. You cope.
People sometimes ask me how I get so many friends. Its easy. I talk to people. Even strangers. I meet people everywhere I go, in classes, in elevators, on the T. Not all of them become my friends, but I am nice to them anyway. Hell my roomie is a girl who worked the front desk at my building. I talked to her when she was bored. Now she games with me and sleeps next door.
I realize some people are shy. I have known people so shy that they actually took social anxiety medicine, and I therefore realize that this will not work for everyone. But try, try to at least approach the people you are already friends with. Sometimes you have to do something scary to make a positive change in your life. I had to risk a lot to get a new advisor. I had to deal with a lot of shit from my current one when I told him I was scouting around for a new one. I also had to risk rejection by the new program. But I was miserable enough to take those risks. If you are truly miserable then risk getting rejected. Rejected by someone you want as a friend, or even as a love interest. Trust me, I have failed plenty times. I have been rejected. It hurts a lot. But you can withstand it. You can get over it. And as some of my guy friends have discovered, it doesn't hurt as much the next time around, and if you try often enough it might just work out one of these days.
Shit or get off the pot.
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*applause*
Date: 2002-11-20 06:25 am (UTC)Because -- and I'm guessing that you're talking about the organization from your word-choice -- people say "social event" when they really mean "prestige-worthy team-building exercise."
Does a magical fairy social coordinating godmother drop down from the sky, wave her wand, and turn pumpkins into people for me to hang out with?
That's my quote of the day. Thank you. :)
Re: *applause*
Date: 2002-11-20 06:34 am (UTC)Well
Date: 2002-11-20 06:47 am (UTC)And not others.
I, for one, do not enjoy forced friendships.