(no subject)

I am playing hooky. Bad girl I know. I went out last night with some friends and just don't want to work today. I am waiting for the great epiphany to strike to tell me where to go next with my research. So instead of doing something fun like going outside and doing something i am inside talking to people online. i am not even writing up the char background that i have in my head, i am just sitting around. Walking anywhere seems like too much effort. I am in a horrible malaise and wish i could get out of it. But its not going to happen under my own steam right now. I am really frustrated that my project isn't going better. I wish I had more done. And I wish I could make up for all that right now. But I am exhausted and can't think straight about it anymore.
I hope i can get myself to leave the apt today.

(no subject)

You've got to smile more
he would say
I never see you smile.
His attention reminded me each day
that someone noticed me

I came here excited and scared
and he was there to greet me..
to help in any way he could
always patient.. willing to rewrap blinds
a million times
in the end though the thing he seemed to care the most about
was whether i smiled or not

Sometimes someone's involvement in your life
is so constant and subtle that you hardly notice
from day to day
That's what Jesse was to me
A constant gentle reminder that
our time herre is not supposed to be painful
that we are human beings and deserve joy
that someone notices me and cares about me
and I will miss him

sorry

Didn't mean to scare people.
The nicest guy used to work as a janitor in my building. He is leaving now.
He is the biggest sweetheart. He made all of us feel like someone important.
Its sad that he won't be around anymore. He will be working in a new building now. Anyway the previous post was about him.